SELF CONFIDENCE

Today I would like to talk about a topic that I believe is probably the most crucial in every girl's life no matter her age size or creed. self-confidence. Let's begin by asking the question, what is self-confidence? Well, one definition is that it is the freedom from doubt, belief in one's self. Another is having faith in your own ability and judgement.I particularly like the second definition because it uses the word faith and to have faith is to believe in something. In this context,to believe in yourself., to know that you are capable of doing what you truly desire or put your heart and soul into. So why do we sometimes suffer from lack of self-confidence? Why do we not trust ourselves enough or have faith in our own abilities, skills and the way we look? I feel it is almost fashionable these days to identify and magnify what we are weak at. It is almost as if we are desperate for society to accepts us. Although quite a number of articles have been written extensively on this topic but I am writing about it more from a personal perspective; what self-confidence means to me as an individual. First of all I will like to say self-confidence is self-defining. It could mean something different on personality but for me it is self-acceptance and self-love. Knowing that I am perfect just the way I am. However this has not always been the case,there was a time in my life when I felt that I did not fit in,that I was not accepted nor liked just the way I was. My reason for feeling different stemmed partially from a health condition that I was born with and some of the challenges that came with it which sometimes made me feel inadequate among my peers and uncomfortable whenever I had to explain it to people. However I now know that having the condition does not make me any less capable or inconsequential. Society seems to be continually dictating to us what the guidelines for self-acceptance should be; and that somehow you have not experienced life well enough to know that you are adequate. I remember years ago when someone told me you are good looking but you would look even better if you were a little bit taller and on another occasion someone else asked me if I have considered getting a boob job because it will even me out a bit better. A girl once commented on how big my bottom was for a girl of my stature and then went on to complain how she was offended by my posture. These are examples of other people transferring their insecurities and defining what beautiful should mean to me or what I need to strive towards.So there it is, society definition of perfection is fickle and until you love yourself and remain in love with yourself, it will continue to define your identity, control your happiness and establish your place within it. I accept myself with all of my eccentricities, emotional clutter and handicaps. I may not be what society sees as beautiful but I am beautiful just the way I am. I may not be what other women my age, background or education look like, but I am beautiful just the way I am. Nonetheless I acknowledge that there are people who still struggle with these insecurities which leads me to my next question. Why do people doubt themselves? Why do people only see the negative about themselves? Whose responsibility is it to ensure that young women have a positive and realistic view of themselves? Well I say the responsibility comes down to us "ladies", we have to build ourselves up, support each other. We have to love our image and take control of our own reality and not allow society to dictate our happiness and ultimately our perception.