MY BODY IS NOT YOUR RIGHT

I am still dumbfounded at the general reaction to issues like rape especially in some parts of the continent today. I thought that there was beginning to be a genuine progression with the way it is viewed/  I believed that the blame culture was changing but not until I had a conversation a few days ago that forced me to really reflect on if we are truly ready to change, and if we are all on the same page of the book. 

One thing I have understood though is that rape is a culture and that culture is more prevalent than we will like to believe.  There is a group of people, perhaps a handful that still see the proprietor as the victim and have argued on their behalf. My conversation with a guy I spoke to a few days ago, took that view, he told me that women had to be careful with the way that they dressed and  'avoid getting drunk if they did not want to be raped' needless to say that I ended that conversation immediately and I'm not quite sure how to or even if I want to bring it up with him again. one of the most troubling things during that conversation was that he told me he was a father to two young boys and he will advise them to be aware of 'bad girls' whatever that might mean, so here we go again with the blame culture all over. Somehow the woman must have contributed to her rape and if she had acted, looked, or dressed a certain way then perhaps she wouldn't have been raped. 

This message is dangerous in so many ways, it is dangerous for young boys, it is dangerous for women and quite frankly dangerous for society. One of the things being said by that statement is that women have no right to their body. 

This brings me to the high profile cases of two young women who were raped in Nigeria,  one of which is Vera Uwalia Omozuwa a 22-year-old microbiologist student who went to study in a church and was raped and killed. She among many other cases that have been reported seems to have had mere momentary outcry by the public and then followed by the usual hope for change.

 but I think in the midst of this, the most frightening of all is still the attitude towards her, comments like, why did she decide to go to study at that place or why was she so friendly as if to say women should have an inbuilt antenna to tell them when they are about to be raped.

so in conclusion, I say it is time that we lay the responsibility solely on the rapist. rape victims are in no way to be blamed for what has happened. it is never about what a woman wears, her style of communication, or what state she is at that moment for that matter. 

I know we have some way to go but I think this time this one is on the men, it is on them to help educate and help us push for what needs to be changed.